For my birthday today, I asked my mom if she would do me the honor of writing down my birth story. Over the past few months, I’ve been reading a lot of birth stories. I’ve just been drawn to them. Leigh over at Marvelous Kiddo has a wonderful collection of birth stories. In fact, it was her own birth story, that her mother wrote on her birthday, that inspired me to ask my mom to do the same.
All I knew about my birth growing up was that I was born on a day with bright blue skies and puffy white clouds. It was only a few months ago in talking with mom that I learned about how my parents intended to have a natural birth. This surprised me as my mom, who started her career as a nurse, seemed to disapprove of natural birth whenever we happened to talk about it. I learned about how they strived for a water birth and how my mom labored for a long time in a birthing center before transferring to the hospital’s delivery room.
Now that I know the story, I admire my mom’s strength in labor. I hope I can draw upon that when I find myself in the same spot someday.
Shelley’s Birth Story
On the occasion of her quarter century on this earth, I am writing Shelley’s birth story. It is a story of great love and deep appreciation for this wonderful young woman, Shelley Greenberg Senai.
Although her birthday is June 11, Shelley’s birth story actually started on June 9th. …it was a looong birth!
I had a relatively easy pregnancy even though I was considered “high risk” because I was an “older primip” (first time Mom). I did not have very much trouble with morning sickness or any of the other things that often make for a difficult first few months of pregnancy. Often though I would feel queasy at night especially if dinner was delayed for any reason. My husband knew early on in our pregnancy that when I said it was time to eat, he had to get me some nourishment really quickly! Poor man always making sure that food was nearby was not always easy. So, given my need to eat, and my lifelong struggle with weight, I gained a LOT of weight during my pregnancy. In the mid 80’s OB’s weren’t quite as rigid about how much weight a woman could gain and, I was so grateful for that. I did, however, get worried that my doctor would start nagging me about my weight so I came up with a strategy. You see I worked for the health maintenance organization where I was getting my care and, I knew the staff quite well because they had attended classes I taught. They also knew I was a nurse which made my “hide the weight gain strategy pretty easy.” When I arrived for my appointments the first order of business was always the weigh in. So, I would tell the medical assistant “you go take care of someone else, I can weigh myself.” Worked like a charm! I would routinely shave some pounds off that awful scale number! Only problem was that as my pregnancy neared the end, I was afraid that they would think I was toxic or something so, I had to fess up to the weight gain during my final few visits. As I said, all in all a fairly easy pregnancy. I did not even have an ultrasound so we had no idea whether we having a girl or boy. Brian and I felt it was a girl and decided fairly early and easily on the name “Shelley Lena”. We had no boy’s name in mind and I fear that decision would have been a more difficult one for us.
During those months of being pregnant Brian read a LOT about pregnancy and birth…a lot more than I did for sure. Having been a pediatric nurse, I felt I knew all I needed to know about the things that could go wrong. Brian was especially interested in an underwater birth. Our OB, Dr. Peter Ma (cool name for an OB, right?), wasn’t too familiar and/or thrilled about the idea of an underwater birth. He did assure us though that we could deliver in a birthing room at Washington Adventist Hospital. This environment, unlike the sterility of a delivery room, would feel homey and comfortable and birthing rooms were fairly new additions to most OB suites at the time. So that is what we agreed to and when we went for our hospital orientation we got to see the birthing room. It did indeed resemble a bedroom but it was close enough to a true delivery room in case anything went wrong…that was very reassuring for me!
Another activity that we engaged in for many weeks pre-delivery was Lamaze classes. Kaiser had a requirement at the time that all pregnant women and their spouse/coach attend these. We attended them in Silver Spring and, not too far from where we currently live. It was a congenial group of 6 or so couples that we befriended and kept in touch with after our babies were born. Our teacher was a true “earth mother” that was passionate about the joys and rewards of natural birth. I remember that she asked at one point if anyone had ever had abdominal surgery. I had had my gall bladder removed a few years prior and so I raised my hand. She went on to tell me that if I had gotten through that then natural childbirth would be a walk in the park for me. After you read this whole story, you can imagine what my message to her was when we returned for our post delivery celebration!
So, along came June 9 1985 and I was WAY ready to have my baby. I was quite large by then but I had worked, as planned, right up to the time of delivery. By our best estimates and, rarely before ever publically stated, we were closing in on being 3 weeks overdue. Shelley was just not ready to enter the world! Of course to our family and friends she was in fact a bit “premature.” I wondered constantly about what would happen and, how I would explain, a 9 lb preemie! Whew, she was a little girl after all and I was glad. So it was on June 9th that my water finally broke and we knew the process was starting. We were, as I recall, pretty calm for first time parents. We had been told that first children rarely come quickly and we had our bags packed for a while. I remember my “Lamaze bag” which was this red nylon bag with things we would need to get me through a natural birth such as mints, a back massager and a special pillow…I don’t think we ever even opened that bag. I called Kaiser and they said I should head to the hospital as I was starting to experience some mild contractions but they reminded me that it might still be a while before the actual birth….truer words were never spoken!
So, we arrived at Washington Adventist Hospital and got checked into the birthing suite. What a nice place…like a bedroom except the bed did have stirrups…dead giveaway!!. I really wanted to deliver on this day because Dr. Ma was on call. Due to my inside connections at Kaiser I had for several weeks been privy to the OB call schedule. Although I had met some of the other OB’s, I really liked and trusted Dr. Ma and hoped that I could actually engineer having him do my delivery. He was on in the afternoon of June 9th and admitted me. He was thrilled to tell me that I was already 5cm dilated and I would deliver over the next “several hours.” As much as I liked and trusted that man he was so wrong, so very wrong!
I progressed normally from 5cm to about 8 cm. My labor was intense but, not unbearable at that point. I can remember the nurse recommended I take a hot shower to speed things along. That seemed like a bit more exertion than I was up for but later, I would recall, that may be I should have taken her advice. The evening shift went off duty and the night shift came in. Night shift is always a little scary but I recall some very caring and nurturing staff with me, as I stayed stuck at that point in my labor for hours, and hours and hours. The day shift came in and it is now June 10th. Dr. Ma is now off duty and I am getting frazzled. Also, I am starving! I followed the rules and as soon as I thought I was going into labor I stopped eating…big mistake. And, in the hospital they bring you a tray of food even if you can’t eat it. Brian happily enjoyed the vegetarian meals they served and I wanted to throttle him! My temperament and my behavior were deteriorating hour by hour. I became one of those crazy screaming, foul mouthed women we had seen in the birthing films. I swore I would never act that way but, my oh my, it is amazing what hour after hour of hard labor can do to you. The day wore on and the evening shift arrived. They could not believe I was still there “sans baby”. Me neither! It was then I truly realized how very exhausted I was. I had inquired earlier about the possibility of getting an epidural and nurse after nurse just kept encouraging me to keep at it. They would reward me with ice chips, which, trust me, is little reward and did nothing to ease my hunger. At some point into the evening on June 10 I told Brian I could not keep doing this. My contractions were regular and intense. I knew that the final phase was pushing which requires incredible determination and most of all energy to cooperate. I told Brian to go and tell them I wanted an epidural. The man who for so long wanted an underwater birth for our child, flew out of that room like a bat out of hell…he was tiring too I think.
So, they came to give me my epidural. Having an epidural, a needle into your back, is not easy or comfortable for anyone, ever. Contorting your body into a “C’ when your belly is the size of a Volkswagen and you are being hit in the gut every 2 minutes, is no easy feat. I will always remember the dear nurse who was in front of me holding and encouraging me. My nails were digging into her chest with incredible force. To do this day she probably has marks from that epidural. But, the procedure itself aside, the result was nothing short of miraculous. I was still laboring, fully conscious, incredibly awake and pain free! I couldn’t believe it and wondered why I had put myself through all those hours of agony. Unfortunately, the needle got dislodged and had to be reinserted but it was worth it a second time. By this time, Dr. Ma is back on duty-yippee! Unfortunately, he noticed that Shelley was in some distress, probably due to her excruciating entrance into the world, and that I had me conium staining which can cause airway problems at the birth. I will never forget his face as he was informing us that due to the meconium staining we would have to deliver in the delivery instead because an anesthesiologist had to be present. He went on about how important he knew being in the birthing room was etc until I stopped him and said, “ Dr. Ma, at this point, you can take me out to the parking lot for delivery as long as you deliver this baby NOW.”
And so, after some pushing that produced great results, they moved us to the delivery room and then, a little more pushing and Shelley Lena Greenberg entered the world at 12:12 am on June 11, 1985. There is no other joy more intense or profound than seeing and then holding your newborn baby for the first time. We cried, we laughed we hugged. She was a perfectly beautiful little girl. She was conceived in love and would always be loved and go on to love all people…the pain and anguish of the previous 24 ++ hours were forgotten and replaced with this one special child.
Happy Birthday sweetheart…you will always be my special child!
MOM
Shelley’s Birth Story
On the occasion of her quarter century on this earth, I am writing Shelley’s birth story. It is a story of great love and deep appreciation for this wonderful young woman. Although her birthday is June 11, Shelley’s birth story actually started on June 9th. It was a looong birth!
I had a relatively easy pregnancy even though I was considered “high risk” because I was an “older primip” (first time Mom). I did not have very much trouble with morning sickness or any of the other things that often make for a difficult first few months of pregnancy. Often though I would feel queasy at night, especially if dinner was delayed for any reason. My husband knew early on in our pregnancy that when I said it was time to eat, he had to get me some nourishment really quickly! Poor man, always making sure that food was nearby was not always easy.
So, given my need to eat and my lifelong struggle with weight, I gained a LOT of weight during my pregnancy. In the mid 80’s, OBs weren’t quite as rigid about how much weight a woman could gain and I was so grateful for that. I did, however, get worried that my doctor would start nagging me about my weight, so I came up with a strategy. You see I worked for the HMO where I was getting my care and I knew the staff quite well because they had attended classes I taught. They also knew I was a nurse which made my “hide the weight gain” strategy pretty easy. When I arrived for my appointments the first order of business was always the weigh in. I would tell the medical assistant “you go take care of someone else, I can weigh myself.” Worked like a charm! I would routinely shave some pounds off that awful scale number! Only problem was, as my pregnancy neared the end, I was afraid that they would think I was toxic or something so I had to fess up to the weight gain during my final few visits.
As I said, all in all a fairly easy pregnancy. I did not even have an ultrasound so we had no idea whether we were having a girl or boy. Brian and I felt it was a girl and decided fairly early and easily on the name “Shelley Lena”. We had no boy’s name in mind and I fear that decision would have been a more difficult one for us.
During those months of being pregnant Brian read a LOT about pregnancy and birth…a lot more than I did for sure. Having been a pediatric nurse, I felt I knew all I needed to know about the things that could go wrong. Brian was especially interested in an underwater birth. Our OB, Dr. Peter Ma (cool name for an OB, right?), wasn’t too familiar and/or thrilled about the idea of an underwater birth. He did assure us though that we could deliver in a birthing room at Washington Adventist Hospital. This environment, unlike the sterility of a delivery room, would feel homey and comfortable and birthing rooms were fairly new additions to most OB suites at the time. So that is what we agreed to and when we went for our hospital orientation we got to see the birthing room. It did indeed resemble a bedroom but it was close enough to a true delivery room in case anything went wrong…that was very reassuring for me!
For many weeks pre-delivery we also took Lamaze classes. Our health insurance had a requirement at the time that all pregnant women and their spouse/coach attend these. We attended them in Silver Spring, not too far from where we currently live. It was a congenial group of 6 or so couples that we befriended and kept in touch with after our babies were born. Our teacher was a true “earth mother” that was passionate about the joys and rewards of natural birth. I remember that she asked at one point if anyone had ever had abdominal surgery. I had had my gall bladder removed a few years prior and so I raised my hand. She went on to tell me that if I had gotten through that then natural childbirth would be a walk in the park for me. After you read this whole story, you can imagine what my message to her was when we returned for our post delivery celebration!
So along came June 9, 1985 and I was WAY ready to have my baby. I was quite large by then but I had worked, as planned, right up to the time of delivery. I was three weeks late when my water finally broke and we knew the process was starting. We were, as I recall, pretty calm for first time parents. We had been told that first children rarely come quickly and we had our bags packed for a while. I remember my “Lamaze bag” which was this red nylon bag with things we would need to get me through a natural birth such as mints, a back massager and a special pillow…I don’t think we ever even opened that bag. I called Kaiser and they said I should head to the hospital as I was starting to experience some mild contractions but they reminded me that it might still be a while before the actual birth….truer words were never spoken!
We arrived at Washington Adventist Hospital and got checked into the birthing suite. What a nice place…like a bedroom except the bed did have stirrups…dead giveaway!! I really wanted to deliver on this day because Dr. Ma was on call. Due to my inside connections at Kaiser, I had for several weeks been privy to the OB call schedule. Although I had met some of the other OBs, I really liked and trusted Dr. Ma and hoped that I could actually engineer having him do my delivery. He was on in the afternoon of June 9th and admitted me. He was thrilled to tell me that I was already 5cm dilated and I would deliver over the next “several hours.” As much as I liked and trusted that man he was so wrong, so very wrong!
I progressed normally from 5cm to about 8 cm. My labor was intense but not unbearable at that point. I can remember the nurse recommended I take a hot shower to speed things along. That seemed like a bit more exertion than I was up for but later, I would recall, that may be I should have taken her advice. The evening shift went off duty and the night shift came in. Night shift is always a little scary but I recall some very caring and nurturing staff with me, as I stayed stuck at that point in my labor for hours, and hours and hours. The day shift came in and by that point it was already June 10th. Dr. Ma was off duty and I was getting frazzled.
Also, I was starving! I followed the rules and as soon as I thought I was going into labor I stopped eating…big mistake. And in the hospital they bring you a tray of food even if you can’t eat it. Brian happily enjoyed the vegetarian meals they served and I wanted to throttle him! My temperament and my behavior were deteriorating hour by hour. I became one of those crazy screaming, foul mouthed women we had seen in the birthing films. I swore I would never act that way but, my oh my, it is amazing what hour after hour of hard labor can do to you. The day wore on and the evening shift arrived. They could not believe I was still there “sans baby”. Me neither! It was then I truly realized how very exhausted I was. I had inquired earlier about the possibility of getting an epidural and nurse after nurse just kept encouraging me to keep at it. They would reward me with ice chips, which, trust me, is little reward and did nothing to ease my hunger. At some point into the evening on June 10 I told Brian I could not keep doing this. My contractions were regular and intense. I knew that the final phase was pushing which requires incredible determination and most of all energy to cooperate. I told Brian to go and tell them I wanted an epidural. The man who for so long wanted an underwater birth for our child, flew out of that room like a bat out of hell…he was tiring too I think.
So they came to give me my epidural. Having an epidural, a needle into your back, is not easy or comfortable for anyone, ever. Contorting your body into a “C’ when your belly is the size of a Volkswagen and you are being hit in the gut every 2 minutes is no easy feat. I will always remember the dear nurse who was in front of me holding and encouraging me. My nails were digging into her chest with incredible force. To this day she probably has marks from that epidural. But, the procedure itself aside, the result was nothing short of miraculous. I was still laboring, fully conscious, incredibly awake and pain free! I couldn’t believe it and wondered why I had put myself through all those hours of agony. Unfortunately, the needle got dislodged and had to be reinserted but it was worth it a second time.
By this time, Dr. Ma was back on duty–yippee! Unfortunately, he noticed that Shelley was in some distress, probably due to her excruciating entrance into the world, and that I had meconium staining which can cause airway problems at the birth. I will never forget his face as he was informing us that due to the meconium staining we would have to deliver in the delivery room instead because an anesthesiologist had to be present. He went on about how important he knew being in the birthing room was etc until I stopped him and said, “Dr. Ma, at this point, you can take me out to the parking lot for delivery as long as you deliver this baby NOW.”
And so, after some pushing that produced great results, they moved us to the delivery room and then, a little more pushing and Shelley Lena Greenberg entered the world at 12:12 am on June 11, 1985. There is no other joy more intense or profound than seeing and then holding your newborn baby for the first time. We cried, we laughed, we hugged. She was a perfectly beautiful little girl. She was conceived in love and would always be loved and go on to love all people…the pain and anguish of the previous 24 ++ hours were forgotten and replaced with this one special child.
Happy Birthday sweetheart…you will always be my special child!
MOM
by Kim Boyce), I sifted those into the mix as well. Next time I might skip the pastry flour though. It did add a delicate, flaky quality to the scuffins that was delicious but that veered away from the original that I was so desperately trying to mimic.
