Ah, social media. That crazy, mixed-up world of blog posts and comments and bookmarks and podcasts and sharing and microsharing and Twitter.
It’s the wave of the future. It’s the information super-highway to the tenth degree. It’s a wonderful, powerful, life-changing, free-ranging, show-stopping, eye-popping thing and it’s all too easy to get lost.
My social media story is a common one. Girl meets web, girl falls head over heels, girl dives in head-first, then forgets which ship she jumped from in the first place.
First, I must say that I love social media. No, really. I do. At its best it can grow businesses, help people, change lives, save lives. It can truly be a beautiful thing. But to get to all that you sometimes have to wade through some pretty nasty stuff . I’m talking broken friendships, ruined reputations, public shamings, and worse.
Granted, those things don’t happen every day. But what you do see every day, underlying all the 
s and the “lol”s, is a layer of superficiality, an attitude of stepping over others to get ahead, a demeanor of “I’m only talking to you because you know so-and-so.” Sometimes in this world, people are just numbers – a new follower, another subscriber, an extra web hit. It’s all, “Look at me. Look at me! LOOK AT ME!”
I know I sound incredibly jaded, and for a time I was. This stuff really bothered me. It still does. But I’ve learned to look past it by focusing on the people and issues I really care about. And by conducting myself in a way that helps the problem and doesn’t add to it.
I believe…
-in transparency: being open and honest about your actions and intentions.
-in supporting others: sharing others’ good thoughts, actions, and causes.
-in common decency: if you don’t have anything nice (or helpful or constructive) to say, it’s probably best to let it go.
-in listening.
-in fairness.
-in inclusion.
-that everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has experienced pain and sadness. Everyone has hopes and dreams. Everyone is human.
-that everyone deserves to have a voice and be heard.
-that not everyone you come across will stay in your life forever, but everyone deserves a first look.
(And here I feel compelled to plug my friend Gradon Tripp‘s very special project, Social Media 4 Social Change. This organization is all about using our collective talents and interests to help others. Its first event is coming up on October 10th to help raise funds for victims of domestic violence and abuse. They’re still looking for sponsors and donors. So check out the website and pass it on.)
Now I’m not suggesting we all gather round, grab hands, and sing “Kumbayah” (though I’d be up for it). But I am suggesting respecting each other a little bit, as individuals and as fellow hikers on the Social Media Trail.
I think we’d all be the better for it.
Hey Spotted Duck,
Yeah, it’s a bummer that all of the elements of human interaction are here on the social web as well. But that’s only natural…. after all, the online world is populated by humans. So here, as in the physical world, we’ll have joy, sorrow, triumph, pain, egotism, selflessness, victory, defeat, altrusim, rudeness, politeness, and everything else under the sun.
Very good point, Morris. And I think these “good social conduct” practices apply to the real world as well.
i think the kumbayah sing-along is a really good idea. fo’ serious.
Great post, Shelley. I’m struggling with a lot of the same, especially those that say “look at me!” all the time.
By staying true to what you believe will gain you new friends, new business contacts, and a lot more respect in general. That’s something those people that shout community but don’t actually deal on a person-to-person level don’t get.
Thanks for the SM4SC shout!
Right on! Say it, girl! Especially in this election year, there’s been a serious lack of compassion, understanding, openness and decency in the social media sphere. Thanks for writing this manifesto so eloquently.
Very well said, Shelley. I agree – I’ve always worried about the superficiality of social media, and I cringe when people blatantly celebrate their number of followers on Twitter.
I think the best we can do is use and not abuse its tools and take all its negativities with a grain of salt.
Pamela
Awesome manifesto… more people need to read this… Stumbleupon here this post comes!
this post is the reason I will be following you. great writing, honest, fun amd personable.
Great post Shelley. The online world is a reflection of the face to face world. We will hopefully treat others as we would want to be treated. Life is far too short for unkindness when so much needs to be done to make the world a better place.
I completely understand your apprehensions towards social media. I think a lot of those feelings can be combated by taking it slow. I try to follow a 1:2 ratio on Twitter to keep it manageable. Currently I follow 72 people and have 40 people following me, so there is some room to grow there. But, it’s not always smart to branch out quickly. I treat every follower and every person I follow as a real person, with real thoughts, attitudes, emotions, reactions, etc. and spend time trying to cultivate each of those relationships. (that is barring, of course, the @barackobama’s and the @cnnbrk’s) I find my experience on Twitter immensely rewarding, and I don’t feel awkward asking my followers for something, even if it is a bit personal. I think getting over that awkward feeling of intruding on someone else’s life is vital to being successful on a social network like Twitter.
Oh, another Twitter must – “auditioning” the people you are following. Someone look interesting? Start following immediately, and if after 2 days they a) are annoying you b) you glaze over their tweets c) Tweet altogether TOO MUCH – just unfollow. There is no notification if someone stops following you.
killer post… online interactions are a lot like offline ones… except the cognitive disconnect of relating to people thru a screen makes normal folks a little nuts and say things they would never say in the real world, let alone to someone’s face.
everything is going to live in the cache/cloud… your longterm reputation depends on your short term actions. In the real world, if you are a belligerent drunk, you will end up getting banned from your favorite bar. We just havent had enough time with this Social stuff to see what “getting cut off” means yet.
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