Queen size me.

Today is going to be a crazy day so I’m not making any big efforts here. In fact the only reason you’re about to get a glimpse into the minutiae of my weekend is because it’s NaBloPoMo and I HAVE TO.

So, we’re waking up early this morning to go to Home Depot and get some twine and some bleach.

We need bleach because we now own a stinky front-loading washer. If you have not heard of the stinky front loading washer phenomenon, consider yourself extremely lucky. The Internet told us that the only fix for this is to literally soak your washer in bleach once a month. Hence the bleach.

The twine is to re-tie our new box spring to our car roof so we can take it back to Jordan’s. Last night, you see, we had the brilliant idea of cashing in on Jordan’s Power Play deal – buy a queen size mattress and box spring, get a free HD flat screen TV. Sweet, right?

Well it would have been, had we not paid all that money, strapped both box spring and mattress to our roof and cautiously driven down 128, gotten home, brought both in the house, deconstructed our old bed from our room, reconstructed it in our guest room, gone to bring the box spring upstairs, only to find IT WOULD NOT FIT UP THE STAIRS.

We tried every combination and angle possible, even bringing our neighbor over to help, only to eventually give up, cry, and then call Jordan’s back. Whereupon we learned that for just $100 more, we could get a split box spring. Tomorrow.

Hence the twine.

And did I mention that all this is happening before 11 am? Because at 11 am we’re getting a used Volvo inspected that we’re close to buying by a master Volvo technician here in Beverly. Then after that we’re due to pick up a couple of rugs we found on Craigslist, one in Allston, one in Scituate.

And then after that we’re scheduled to run a marathon whilst reciting Hamlet backwards and patting our heads and rubbing our bellies.

Seriously. Does the madness ever end?