Poker face.

When I resigned from my job a couple weeks ago, my boss asked me if I like to play poker, because I’m definitely all in these days. Between getting married, buying a house, buying a car, and then leaving my job, I’m upping the ante big time. I’m playing a high stakes game. And that game is LIFE.

And he’s right. I mean, when you think about it, I’m experiencing four of life’s most major moments all in the span of about three months. I mean, that’s crazy right? But for some reason, I’m not freaking out. And we all know how prone to freaking out I can be (insert shingles joke here). But I’m not. It all just feels exciting to me.

And I can’t help but think part of that excitement, part of that not-freaking-out, has to do with the fact that I’m married. It’s hard to describe how that’s so if you’re not married but trust me, it just is. So.

You know, a few months before our wedding, as we were working on our ceremony, my dear blogosphere sister, Kyla Roma, shared with me the beautiful transcript of her entire wedding ceremony that she and her husband created together. And while there were so many elements in there that I really liked, the one that especially spoke to me was this idea of marriage setting you free.

Which may seem contradictory but actually makes a whole lot of sense. We “borrowed” the idea from them and had our officiant adapt the language for our own ceremony, adding it in during our “Declaration of Consent”:

Because you will be safe in marriage, you can risk; because you have been promised a future, you can take extraordinary chances. Because you know you are loved, you can step beyond your fears; because you have been chosen, you can transcend your insecurities. You can make mistakes, knowing the other will be there to catch you. And because mistakes and risks are the very essence of change, in marriage you will expand to your fullest capacity. Within the shelter of marriage, you will continue to grow and develop, so you can discover your individual paths and offer your gifts back to each other and the world. Marriage, then, makes you free -to see, to be seen, to love. Your souls are protected, so your hearts can open.

I loved everything about this quote the moment I read it. I love how it kicks that tired old “ball and chain” phrase right directly in the butt. But I had no idea how true it would be until it happened. Until we got married and I felt those tentacles of commitment surrounding me. Not holding me down but lifting me up. Not suffocating me but giving me new life.

Some say marriage is just a piece of paper, but that’s simply  not true. The formalization of that commitment, whether it’s made in front of a justice of the peace or in front of everyone you know, brings a new depth and a new security to your relationship that could not be possible without it.

So maybe I am playing a high stakes game. But I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m holding a royal flush.