I had a dream last night that I was still pregnant. At times, I wasn’t sure if I had just gotten pregnant or if I was still pregnant from before the miscarriage. If somehow the D&C didn’t take or missed something and I had a little survivor baby inside of me. So ridiculous but that [...]
I’m not even sure what to say about this cake. Everything I want to say, like “Dear god, this is the most delicious cake EVER.” and “Forget about every other cake I’ve ever made, this one is the BEST!” pretty much just sounds like what I said here. And here. And here. The problem is, [...]
If I gave you the impression last week that everything is a-okay over here, I sort of led you astray. The feeling of “okay” comes and goes, and for the past few days especially, I’ve been in a bit of a cloud. Or maybe I was numb before, and now it’s all very real. Who [...]
It’s hard to believe that it was only one week ago today that we found out the awful news and spent the day in the ER. I feel like months have passed since then. Maybe I just feel that much older. I took (or was given, I should say), this entire week to myself to [...]
Hardly am I looking for sympathy. Sympathy makes me cry, even though it means the world. But I don’t need it to move on. Hardly am I looking to become a voice on being open about miscarriage. Open felt right for me. Open is not right for everyone. I’m writing about my miscarriage because writing [...]
Universal experiences are strange things. They are fraught with do’s and don’t’s and are usually marred by other people’s opinions and experiences. When I was engaged, what I most struggled with was balancing what I thought I was supposed to be feeling (joy! elation! smiling all the time!) with what I was really feeling (stress! [...]
I’ll hit the bottom Hit the bottom and escape Escape I’ll hit the bottom Hit the bottom and escape Escape -Radiohead, Weird Fishes/Arpeggi There isn’t really much to say. I’m sure you’ll find too that your tongue is tied. Three weeks ago, we found out I was pregnant. We experienced that whole range of emotions [...]
